When God closes a door, somewhere He opens a window.

I, along with my family have experienced a number of losses the past year. With all those doors that closed, I know of windows that have opened.

I have tried to see the silver lining in each hurdle I have had to cross. Its not always that easy.

I found out I was expecting our third child on Colby's 9th Birthday. We were thrilled! I wasn't very sick and felt pretty good. We told each of our family members is a really fun way and were planning for the due date of August 8th.

I was kinda leary, I hadn't been pregnant for so long and knew I felt a little different. I remember telling Annie that I thought something was 'different' and didn't want to get my hopes up. I am a firm believer in "mothers intuition" On Dec 29th I went to my first appointment. During my appointment I was giving an ultrasound to measure the little tike and get a firm due date. Dr told me my little peanut had stopped growing a week before and no longer had a heartbeat.

I left the office with three options of treatment, none that I wanted to do.

I called Lynn on the way home and cried, and told him how confused I was... and what was I suppose to do. We took about a week to decide. And went with a medical procedure. On January 6th, I was put under and woke up no longer pregnant.

I really honestly never understood the emotional toll a miscarriage takes on the mother.

I have a very good friend who has been through more then one, and I salute her! I understand NOW that it is one of the most emotional, heart wrenching things to ever happen. I was sad, angry and so hurt. I went through so many emotions thinking "what could I have done to make this happen?" "why was my body betraying me" It's a bad bad place to be. I took 6 days off work and crocheted a blanket for my nephew Owen who is on the way... that helped. I still think about it, and cry. I wonder when that will subside.

Eight weeks after my procedure I went into the Dr because I was not feeling "back to normal". I was told after two weeks I should feel better and my body would be running like a champ! I went in very nervous. I was afraid I would be told that I was done having kids and my body just won't work. I was surprised to hear that I was 6 weeks pregnant!

OCTOBER 25th 2011

I had a dream after my loss. My Grandma Reid came into my bedroom and told me not to worry. She had my baby and was keeping it safe. I know it was a dream. But it was MY dream, and I felt good about it.

Who knows what will happen, I am very hopeful and happy.

My kids are getting three new cousins this year! (Collette, Annie and April are preggers) Praying for healthy babies for our family. I can't wait to meet them. Already love them! Three new grand kids for my parents, FIVE new Great Grand kids for my Grandma and Grandpa Griffin and FOUR for my Grandma and Grandpa Reid!

Even though it is hard when those doors do close..... I am very grateful for that window!